OLD HIPSTER DICTIONARY.

I want to make rad again. Wait.. is rad played already?

"Time Burglar" - n. (time berg-ler) Someone who yaps your ear off at a place of social gathering. Someone who wastes large portions of your life. "That fucking time burglar just cornered me at the bathrooms for 20 minutes about his lame job at American Apparel." Pretty much every ex-girlfriend or boyfriend you've ever had is a Time Burglar.

"Social Vampire" - n. (so-shul vam-pir) A person with no true identity of their own who clings onto others' success, then tries to incorporate himself into their lives to claim a sense of kinship. A phony, a poseur, someone whose entire life revolves around trying to be "down." A malleable chameleon.

"Rapey" - adj. (rape-eee) A creep, a slimy dude. "Ugh, that guy is so rapey."

"Oof." - int. (oof) An expression of aversion, horror, or the like. "Oof. I just drunk dialed my ex." Also used as "Whoopths" or "Doh!" in regards to human error or thoughtless miscalculation. "I didn't realize that the NWA thing in the park was actually the National Women's Affirmations poetry festival. Oof."

"Awk" - adj. (auk) Short for awkward. Cringey. "The dealbreaker was when he started grazing the snack bins at Whole Foods infront of my ex-boyfriend who was staring at us. Totally awk."

"AWSS!" - adj. (auss) Short for awesome, obvy. Except you have to say it like a guy. "Wait... you partied with Dwight Shrute last night? That's awss."

"Barney" - n. (bahr-nee) Pretty much everyone is a Barney. "Easy, Barney."

"Boner" - n. (boh-ner) A poseur, a social climber, a name dropper. "That streetmag dude is such a boner."

"Kook" - adj. (kook) Skank, drunk slut, loser girl. "Brenda's SUCH a kook. She tried to take Dawn's boyfriend Marty home last night after we left Jamaican Me Crazy's."

"Goob" - adj. (slang, short for Goober) A spazz, someone who is in need of lots of public attention. "Oh my god Sharie was dancing on the bar at The Coozie Cove last night. What a goob."

via www.everythingisannoying.com

Words people should no longer use starting yesterday.

Douchebag.
Cougar.
Hipster.

You have my permission to punch me in the face if I utter these words.

-Cinista.