MAYO ON THE SIDE.

MaeONAISE, my aussie friend, makes me laugh every day... With her hilarious bulletins on myspace... To her witty banter... Here's a joke she sent me...

Women and their fucking insecurities..

I thought it was hilarious. Why are people so serious all of a sudden..Is it cos there's no more Chappellle show?

Gotta joke for you then.

How do you know a woman is having a bad day?
She has a tampon behind her ear and she cant find her ciggarette.



----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: NATHAN_NICE
Date: Mar 26, 2008 12:13 AM


are we the only 2 that thinks this is funny?

i had a girl message me that she was upset about it...

it's ok tho cause shes ugly...

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Maeonaise
Date: Mar 25, 2008 11:15 PM


wow a true cassanova...get that ass!

I like the kicking a pet move. Real classy.

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: NATHAN_NICE
Date: Mar 25, 2008 10:08 PM


26 sure fire ways to let a girl know you care!

1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.






2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.




)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.






4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.






5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.






6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.






7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. Girls love competition.






8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can.




"

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.






10. pull with her hair.




girls like it when you play with their hair

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold.




rather, look her in the eyes and tell her to run a lap and that she could use the exersise

12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.






13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny.




why shouldn't girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN

Soo tired but I can't sleep... I think I'm going for a quick work-out...