So imagine you're one of those dudes who spends all your loot on kicks and gays off to your collection every chance you get. Imagine also that you're dating this hot model chick and living in HER sick little spot in San Diego. One day you come home and see all your shit packed up and sitting on the porch, alongside a note telling you to find your sorry ass a new place to live. You later learn that she finally wised up to your scandalous side-life and is good and done with you… Hard times, right?
It’s not over yet… Your shoe collection wasn’t in that pile of shit that was waiting for you on the porch, and after weeks of trying to get it back, you realize this chick isn’t giving you shit… Harder times, right?
Still not over… Some dudes from VitalSkate.com know your chick and snapped flicks of her posing half naked with your beloved collection. “Why?” you say? 'Cause it’s funny shit, and 'cause your chick is hot. “What does this have to do with skateboarding?” you say? Don’t ask stupid questions. Enough about you, though, err… that guy you were pretending to be. Fuck that guy. Let’s meet his ex-chick, Ayiiia.
VitalSkate: Why don’t you give us a general breakdown as to what the hell is going on here?
Ayiiia: It’s simple. I dated this guy for two years. He lived in my house rent-free and basically did nothing but play video games and look at shoes on the Internet.
So you just got over that or what?
Well no, that’s just how it seems now in retrospect. The reason I kicked him out goes past just being lazy and selfish. I don’t want to go into all that, though.
So are you ever going to give him back his shoes?
No. It’s not like I have all of them… I only had about 20 pairs at my house and that’s only a small portion of his collection. I’m keeping these because he owes me money, and because I bought him most of these anyways.
So is he one of those dudes who slept out on the sidewalk in front of shops the night before shoes were released?
Yes! I never understood that. It’s kind of psychotic, actually.
What are you going to do with them?
Probably sell them on eBay. Maybe if someone reading this wants to buy them, that would be even easier. They are all size 10.
Would you ever date another dude who is all cracked out on shoes?
Like I said, the shoe thing wasn’t the straw that broke the camel’s back, but it was a bit annoying at times. No, I don’t think I would, though.
Is he gonna be bummed on this?
He most certainly will be.
Hahahahahahha!!!
-Cinista.
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