Monday, December 01, 2008


I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one but I don’t give a fuck.

Here’s the deal: I hate animals. Well, not all animals, I guess just pets–animals that live in a house along with human beings. It is just so fucking gross. Think about it.

Every time I walk into someone’s house and they have a pet, I sort of like it at first and I pet it a little and it’s cute for like a fucking minute. But then I find myself staring at the creature, watching what it does. How it scratches itself and licks itself in its private areas. And then it sits on your couch and rubs its butt hole and balls and coochie ALL OVER YOUR FURNITURE. That butt hole that didn’t get wiped, that butt hole that still has doodoo particles on it. Those balls that still have some pee on them. EW. Then you go and sit on that couch and it gets on you. Or your cat cleans its vag and then comes over and licks your hand. WTF.

Then if your pet sits on your lap or the couch, and lies on its back, its balls hang out for the whole world to see, right there, in front of your face! Or when a dog has a boner and it’s just there, for everyone’s viewing pleasure. DUDE! I DO NOT want to see that shit.

There is a reason we wear underwear and wipe, it’s fucking disgusting otherwise!!!!

I actually go a step further and wash everytime.


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